Conflict and Communication in a Marriage

When you first decided to get married, I'm sure you and your lover thought the both of you were going to live happily ever after. You may have even thought that love will conquer everything. Well, perhaps ultimately this may be true, but only to the degree that you actually nurture and grow a loving relationship. To do this you'll need to learn to communicate effectively and productively manage any conflict. Every single marriage has its times when the two of you simply don't see eye to eye. There will be conflict, but only because were human. People have different view points and simply will not agree on everything all of the time. Conflict and communication in a marriage is a given. The key is to know how to handle conflict in a mature way, as well as develop strong communication skills.

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3 ways to avoid some common pitfalls of conflict and communication in a marriage:

Pick your battles. A lot of couples fall into the trap of having to always be right. If your spouse says you're spending too much money on unnecessary things, maybe you are! Sop and think about it before you start a fight. It can be surprising to see couples get into a fight over something petty. This conflict and communication in a marriage issue is about money, correct? If you don't think you spend a lot, then you can avoid a conflict with good communication. “I didn't think I was spending over our budget, but hey, I'll get my receipts for last month and both of us can see what I'm spending it on. You might be right.” Trust me, this approach will shock him, and you will have avoided a fight at the same time.

The I'm always right attitude. Sometimes, one of you may bait the other only because they had a bad day and they want to vent on you. They may claim that they are always right and may blame you for everything. Don't let your partner get away with childish ploys like this. A good way to defuse this is to bring up the possibility that they may be right, just like we did in the previous example, pick your battles. this is a good communication technique that deflates the possibility of conflict. A gracious attitude is called for when your partner suggests that you might be right and will look into the issue. This combination of conflict and communication in a marriage often leads to a resolution that's acceptable by the two of you, at which point you kiss and make up, defusing the problem before it even has a change to develop into something worse.

Strong communications skills can often eliminate the more combative aspects of conflict. Conflict and communication are essentially two sides of the same coin when it comes to relationships. If conflict arises, examine your own motives and your end game. Are you merely pushing your lovers buttons because you're looking for trouble, or find it funny? Yes, this happens. Issues that cause conflict and communication in a marriage often stem from something insignificant which is often an underlying symptom of the real issue. If both of you stop using the red herring ploy, you will have less conflicts and more effective communication.

Conflict and communication in a marriage can coexist peacefully if you learn to evaluate the root of the conflict objectively and communicate without insulting, belittling or hurting your partners feelings. Remember, this is the love of your life! Communicating can be as easy as a kiss!

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